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Ocean of Emotion

What is art without emotion?

"Earth without art is just eh"

I believe art has a purpose. To honor God by capturing the beauty of his creation, to tell a story or capture emotion.

I would consider myself an ocean artist as that is what my heart is drawn to. I adore the vast majesty of the ocean and the amount of feelings and stories it can portray. I equate it to being a small representation of God and his glory. It is totally incomprehensible and uncontrollable.

So that brings us to this painting, Ocean of Emotion.

This specific painting is really meaningful to me and I named it Ocean of Emotion because that is exactly what I was in when I painted it.

My family has been incredibly close for as long as I can remember, I was homeschooled since 3rd grade, we have driven through every state in America and traveled to over 20 countries as a family. Point is we have always been physically close for better or for worse meanwhile our relationships themselves weren’t the tightest.

In 2020 my parents officially separated, I had this saying that our family existed on a ferris wheel, we were constantly going in the same cycle and when there was high the low wasn’t far away, even though the battles might have been different the pattern was always the same; not this time. We finally got off the ferris wheel…

The separation was RIGHT before the first lock down and I ended moving in with my mom, while my dad and brother moved in together. Unfortunately this created a much stronger division so our family was essentially split down the middle, and I didn’t have any communication with the people I had spent every second with for the last 19 years of my life.

I didn’t talk to my brother or dad for basically 6 months. It was absolutely awful – there was so much bitterness and resentment and I felt so self righteous in cutting them out until one of my dear friends called me out and lovingly brought me back to Jesus and how to love like him. No one is perfect and I can’t cut people out despite the pain because that isn’t love. Love isn’t transactional.

So with all that being said, I painted this angry ocean at the beginning of this season and I really feel like it represents the tumultuous waters that was my life for 6 months (mostly due to my own un-forgiveness and bitterness)

Now it is hung up in the most prominent place in my little apartment as a reminder. Because fortunately this is far from the end of the story.

But more on that in my next post

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