This is a follow on post from Ocean of Emotion so I highly recommend going back and reading that one first.
So the reason I have the Ocean of Emotion painting hanging up in the most prominent place in my house is because it is an incredible reminder of how amazingly redemptive God is. The painting represents a desperately sad time in my families life, but despite my parents being separated for 6 months and only days away from finalizing their divorce they chose differently, they chose love (because love is not just a feeling, it is a choice, and we can’t love unless we are connected to the source of love himself)
That brings me to this painting, the Light Wall.
At the time, I named this painting light wall. But in hindsight I should have called it wall of light.
It’s so fascinating to me how two statements using the exact same words tell two completely different stories. A wall of light strikes accord with me because it really illuminates the emotion behind why I painted this in the first place.
As I look back in my photos and journals, I didn’t paint the light wall when my parents cancelled their divorce/ got back together. I painted it about a month or two before that was even a consideration, but it accurately represented how I felt, there was light back in the ocean and the tumultuous waters had subsided, the currents changed not because everything was fixed and perfect but because I chose to get over myself and forgave despite my lack of feelings of love.
The period of my life when I painted the light wall is still one of my favorites despite how controversial that may be. It was amid the first lockdown, but life was slow and oh so idyllic in our little pink loft apartment on moonlight beach.
(Mom made an executive decision that it would be ok for me to paint a mural on the outside of our pink rental – we had to cover it when we moved but it was so great while it lasted)
This was a really good time for my mom and I, we cried, we laughed, ate way too much, built puzzles, theorized about the world around us, but really we were growing and getting healthy together and challenging each other which is what I loved most of all. I wouldn’t want our history to be any other way, despite the sadness of this season of separation I cherished the time with my mom and I am who I am because of it.
I would love to say they got back together and that was the end of it but the story is far from over (good and bad still to come) but thats life and despite the hardships endured in the thick of it I wouldn’t want it any other way because it is our history and his-story that could possibly change someones life and illuminate His redemptive enduring love.
I lived in the book of James in the times to come and the next blog post will be on the painting that was inspired by my multiple re readings of James.
– Till next time –